What makes a parent...
Parenthood is not only about bringing a new family member, it is about raising a healthy child, being around, it is about parenting 24/7, participate in a child’s life, it is a full time commitment with a human being who is fully independent of our choices, our priorities and our actions. Raising our children is the most pleasant job we will ever have, and as much as we read, learn or participate in psychological courses, it is also the most difficult task we will ever be through, for long!
During the first years, we must satisfy all basic and primal necessities of this new life creature, we call daughter or son. That includes: feeding, changing diapers, bathing, dress up, keep them healthy, check-ups, and also teach them to learn new skills of life though interaction, play time and dialogue.
As our children grow, our role parental role grows along. For example: we become the first teacher, we become the first counselor through good and bad. It takes lots of TIME, ATTENTION, PATIENCE, most of all, LOVE.
The big question is: WHY DO WE NEED TO LEARN HOW TO BETTER RAISE OUR CHILDREN?
ANSWER: Children of today will be the parents of the future; what they learn from you today is what will be put in practice with their future offspring.
These are the basic needs a parent must fulfill for their offspring:
- All physical necessities such as bath or clean environment.
- All intellectual necessities to help them develop new skills, such as crawling, walking, writing, talking. This is achieved by stimulating creativity, talking, learning involvement by parents.
- All emotional needs such as love expressions and affection which will be put in practice, first with you as a parent, then with the rest of the living things around (pets, neighbors, siblings, plants.)
- Provide a healthy diet to help your child grow strong and healthy.
- Security; children need a secure place to be around, that includes updated car seats, approved cribs, etc.
- Medical care: check-ups, dentists, physical examinations, eye examinations, audio examinations, immunizations, etc.
Conduct problems are very common during the existence of people in this world, but as a parent, use these normal phase of growing as an opportunity to teach them rightful lessons. Discipline is the answer, but discipline must come with love and with continuity. If a child is allowed one thing one day, and not allowed the next, you are creating confusion in your child’s head.
- Tantrums –keep calm; do not pay attention that may reinforce this unpleasant conduct.
- Lying – Let your child know that YOU KNOW the truth is not being said. Before you jump into the “punishment” thing, find out why is he/she lying to you, explain through dialogue why lying is unacceptable, then proceed with a suitable learning technique.
- Cheating – Cheating is wrong, tell your child and preach by your own example. Children should not be pushed to their limits, recognize what your child is capable of achieving, if you demand too much, this may lead to cheating.
- Stealing – Do not ask your child if he has stole an item, that usually ends with a lie, and that you should now. Instead, teach your child that stealing is wrong, insist that he will give back the item and demand an apology. Teach your child that every action has a consequence, better to have good ones and not unpleasant ones.
If you cannot handle your child misbehavior or you cannot control your anger, seek for professional help for both you and your child. This will be helpful to overcome lots of family problems and school detentions.
The following are the traits you, as a parent want to stimulate in your child to make a successful human being to be proud of:
- Self-esteem – All children need to know that they are valuable, appreciated and loved. Feel proud of your children’s successes and help them accepts their defeats.
- Independence – Children remember best when discovering by themselves. It is important that with your supervision, they learn to explore and try new things. Doing everything on their behalf will just lead to insecurities and lack of self-reassurance as they grow up.
- Sociability – Children need to get along with other people. Teach them: manners, sharing, listening skills, teach them to respect other’s values, necessities, differences and items.
- Responsibility – Give simple tasks to your children according to their ages, share chores and praise the good behavior.
- Humor sense – Smile, smile and smile…this is an important life skill. When bullied by other because of short height, not talking as fast as the others, slow in math, learning the funny side of things will help your child cope with social embarrassment and will discourage others to see him as a punching bag.